red five soul

desperately low when I should be high

terrified that what used to keep me alive

is not the same satisfaction I find

today, playing second fiddle to myself

and the impossible hurdles that

I set to dispel any happiness which

may have been found; instead,

I drag my feet on the ground

and limp home, alone, knowing

I’m going nowhere with a brick

strapped to the gas pedal,

I settle for no one known coming,

only two young girls who I misled

to sell something untouchable—

the glass is never half-full.

High hat crack in my toes,

bass beat bumping my back,

I feel the sonic attack like

a warmth I’ve never owned.

Not for years have hands

held me and pushed in simple time,

not, at least, with a love like the

one that wrote this rhythm,

the one that posesses me while

my heart undresses quickly—

the shockwaves ripple in motion

and I know I am alive;

I survived all these changed tides

so I could have this ride

and feel your distant pounding pulse:

An antidote to loneliness,

since I’m forever blind to your mind.

Reach out and give me a squeeze

through the breeze,

compress the air with caring,

speakers blaring,

show me how you were weak in the knees

when you wrote these glaring truths,

this etude I now echo for you.

out to the bars in your company car

burnin’ the wick at both ends

friends are near but very far

blinded by the stars once again

Wake me when the hangover’s done

Easier than facing up to the fun

with no one

stuck in your head til Sunset

keep the dream afloat with dry-erase

try n’ find a grind that won’t be wasted

time is growing shorter now we’re older

a little better bolder braver every day

Wake me when the hangover’s done

Easier than facing up to the fun

with no one

stuck in in your head til Sunset

I am an April Fool

to wait for You

cause nothing you ever need

is that close in reach

Wasting all of the daylight

fighting to find the right one

Nothing you ever need

should be that easy

Today I sold a bass guitar to Richard Alpert from Lost’s (the actor Nestor Carbonell’s) son.  He’s also the mayor from the Dark Knight and DKR. 

It was very inspiring to kickstart a child’s musical journey the same way mine was when I was an eleven year old myself. 

Then I talked with this Armenian man who spoke fluent Russian as well as nearly perfect English with hardly a discernable accent.  He claimed it was his focus on the English language as a specialty in school that led to his skill, and we bonded over being English majors.  We discussed learning about Old English, and having to read ancient texts.  I recited the beginning of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales and we admitted to being poets.  Afterward, he performed a short poem he had written when he was 17, in English.  It was amazing.  All while being an odd, divorced, middle-aged, average-looking Armenian man, and coyly strumming a stratocaster that I was forced to attempt to sell him.  The fuckin’ people you meet, man.

this could be it

the pivotal moment

when every day we stray

becomes a waste of time

I’m opening toward it

the sweat and the blood

the sweet and the rough

the friction caused by

our spinning boulder

We’re getting older

and better every way